Many people are interested in bars, but feel uneasy, wondering, “What is the flow like the first time?” or “I don’t want to embarrass myself by not knowing the manners…”. In this article, we thoroughly explain everything from preparation before entering, how to open the door, how to order your first drink, and tips for paying and leaving. It is structured so that just by reading it, you can get the “flow” of enjoying even your first bar experience calmly in your head, so if you are 20 years old or older and want to try going to a bar, please use this as a reference.

Basic knowledge you should know before going to a bar for the first time

To smoothly enjoy your first bar experience, it is important to understand the basics before going, such as “what kind of place it is” and “how much budget you need.” In this chapter, we will organize the background knowledge that makes it easier to imagine the flow of your first visit, from the difference between a bar and an izakaya to clothing, budget, number of people, and time of day.

Roughly understand the difference between a “bar” and an “izakaya”

Both bars and izakayas are places to enjoy alcohol, but their purpose and atmosphere are slightly different. An izakaya strongly has the image of “a place where everyone enjoys food and drinks together,” and it is not usually a problem even if it gets lively and noisy with food as the main focus. On the other hand, a bar is “a place to slowly enjoy the alcohol itself and the space,” and many bars value a calm atmosphere and conversation. Therefore, on your first visit to a bar, it is easier to fit in if you quietly enjoy conversation and a drink, rather than drinking until you are overly intoxicated or making a lot of noise. If you roughly understand these differences, the anxiety you feel when imagining the flow of your first bar visit will be greatly reduced.

A guide to clothing and belongings so you do not stand out even on your first visit

When going to a bar, it is safest to aim for “smart casual” that is neither too formal nor too casual. For men, it is perfectly fine to wear a T-shirt with a jacket, or a shirt with jeans or chinos. For women, a dress that is easy to move in and does not look sloppy when seated, or a blouse with pants, is a safe choice. As for belongings, keeping it to the minimum such as your wallet, smartphone, and handkerchief looks smart, and it is better to leave bulky large bags in a coin locker or similar place. Also, keeping perfume light rather than too strong will not interfere with the aroma of the cocktails, allowing you to enjoy a more bar-like experience.

A guide to budget: How much is enough per bar to feel comfortable?

One of the biggest worries for a first-time bar visit is, “How much will the bill be?” It depends on the establishment and area, but at a typical bar, the total often stays around 3,000 to 6,000 yen per person for the cover charge plus 2 to 3 drinks. If you imagine the charge (seat fee) to be around 500 to 1,500 yen and each drink to be around 1,000 to 1,500 yen, it becomes easier to calculate. On your first visit, if you decide in advance within yourself, “Today I will spend up to ◯◯ yen at one place,” you can naturally adjust your pace when looking at the menu and ordering, which gives peace of mind. If you are worried, checking a gourmet site or the bar’s SNS before entering for things like “cover charge available” or “average drink price” will greatly reduce your anxiety about going over budget.

Go alone? Or go with friends? How to enjoy it depending on the number of people

Many people casually stop by bars alone, and one of the charms is being able to enjoy conversation with the bartender across the counter. If you go alone, you can drink slowly at your own pace, and natural conversations with other customers may also arise. If you go with a friend or partner, it is easier to get seats and have conversations if the group is limited to 2 or 3 people. If you go with a large group, voices will inevitably get louder, and there is a possibility of disturbing the atmosphere for other customers. To comfortably experience the flow of your first bar visit, it is important to basically think in terms of “alone” or “a small group” and to be conscious of enjoying a calm time.

How does the atmosphere of the bar change depending on the time you go?

The atmosphere of a bar changes significantly depending on the time of day. Early hours right after opening (for example, around 7 p.m.) are often relatively quiet, making it an easy time even for a first visit to calmly consult with the bartender while ordering. After 10 p.m., regular customers after work and people using it as their second stop increase, and depending on the establishment, it may become more lively. If you are nervous because it is your first time, going sometime between opening and around 9 p.m. makes it easier to choose a seat and slowly experience the “bar-like” atmosphere in a quiet setting. By understanding the differences depending on the time of day, you can adjust your visiting time according to the atmosphere you want, and the flow of your first visit will become much smoother.

The flow of your first bar visit①：From entering the bar to sitting down

Once you decide to go to a bar, the flow of your first visit begins from the moment you “open the door.” In this chapter, we will explain the movements of the “first few minutes” in a way that makes them easy to imagine concretely, such as the points to check at the storefront, greetings when entering, how to choose your seat, and where to place your belongings.

Points to check at the storefront and menu before opening the door

Just checking the storefront or signboard a little before opening the door of a bar can greatly increase your sense of security. First, if there is information near the door or on the sign such as “Charge ◯◯ yen” or “Cover charge available,” check it because it gives you an idea of the pricing system. If the menu is displayed outside, you can also roughly check the drink price range and compare it with your budget, thinking, “This should be okay.” Also, if you can see through the glass, the brightness of the lighting, the volume of the music, and the atmosphere inside make it easier to imagine whether it is a quiet bar or a lively one. If you grasp this kind of information before opening the door, you can reduce the gap of “This atmosphere is different from what I expected…” and start the flow of your first visit more calmly.

How to greet when entering and how to communicate the number of people and seat preference

When you open the door, just giving a light bow and saying “Good evening” already changes the impression greatly. Once the bartender or staff notices you, simply tell them the number of people, such as “One person” or “Two people.” If you have a seat preference, there is no problem in saying it without hesitation, such as “Is the counter seat available?” or “If possible, I would prefer a table seat.” If the bar is nearly full or crowded, the staff may ask, “Would this seat be okay?” and in that case, responding with a smile makes things go smoothly. Just this brief exchange of a word or two can make the overall flow of your first bar visit feel much more comfortable.

Counter seats and table seats: their features and how to choose

If you want to enjoy the real charm of a bar, choosing a counter seat is recommended even on your first visit. At a counter seat, not only can you watch the bartender make cocktails right in front of you, but it is also easier to ask for advice about drinks. On the other hand, if you want to slowly enjoy conversation with a friend or partner, a table seat may allow you to relax without worrying about others’ eyes. Depending on the establishment, there may also be an unspoken division where the counter is for one or two people and tables are for groups, so if you are unsure, try asking, “It’s my first time here, which seat would you recommend?” Seat choice is an important point in the flow of your first visit because it affects your comfort afterward, so it is important to consult without hesitation.

Subtle manners for where to place your belongings, coat, and smartphone

Once you sit down, arranging your belongings and coat first helps balance consideration for others with your own comfort. The basic manner is to place a large bag at your feet or on a bag hook so that it does not block the aisle. Some bars will offer to keep your coat or jacket, so if they ask, “May I take your coat?” it looks smart to leave it to them. Rather than leaving your smartphone in the middle of the table, turn off the notification sound and put it in your bag, or place it face down somewhere it will not be in the way. These small actions prevent you from obstructing the view or movement of other customers and make your first bar experience feel more refined.

The flow of your first bar visit②：Your first drink and how to order

Once you settle into your seat, it is finally time to enjoy the alcohol unique to a bar. In this chapter, we will carefully explain the “flow” around ordering, from how beginners should choose their first drink, how to read the menu, how to consult the bartender, the basics of the pricing system, and tips for pacing your drinking.

What should you order first? A recommended “first drink” for beginners

The thing people worry most about on their first visit to a bar is “what to choose for the first drink.” If you are not very strong with alcohol or are not used to bars, it is reassuring to start with a cocktail that has a relatively low alcohol content. For example, gin and tonic, Moscow mule, and cassis orange are easy to drink and are standard offerings at many bars. If you like beer, there is no problem starting with draft beer or bottled beer. It is also a perfectly valid way to enjoy a bar by telling the bartender your general preferences, such as “I’d like something sweet and refreshing” or “Something that isn’t too bitter,” and having them make a recommendation for you. Your first drink is an important drink that serves as the “introduction” to the flow of your first bar visit, so choose something you can drink comfortably without overdoing it.

How to read the menu and what to ask when you do not understand it

A bar menu may be filled with unfamiliar cocktail names and types of spirits, so it is understandable to feel confused on your first visit. In that case, take your time looking at it and choose as if you were mentally circling words you recognize or names that catch your interest. If you truly do not understand, even an abstract preference is enough—try saying something like, “I do not know much about cocktails, but which ones are sweet and easy to drink?” and the bartender will kindly explain. Pointing at the menu and asking, “What does this taste like?” is also a good method. There is no need to pretend you understand what you do not; if you think of asking questions itself as part of communication at a bar, the flow of your first visit will feel much easier.

Is “surprise me” okay? How to order well from the bartender

At a bar, it is not unusual to say, “Please make me something of your choice.” However, rather than leaving it completely vague, if you add conditions such as “I’m not really a fan of whiskey, so something fruity” or “I’d prefer it not to be too strong,” it will lead more closely to a drink that suits you. Bartenders are professionals who make suggestions according to your preferences, your mood that day, and your drinking pace, so there is no need to be afraid of sharing a rough image. If you find a drink you really like, writing down its name will make it easier next time to say something like, “Something similar to the ◯◯ I had at that bar before,” even in the flow of another first bar visit. By making good use of “surprise me,” the joy of encountering a drink that feels uniquely yours expands.

Understand the pricing system such as charge, appetizer, and service fee

As part of the pricing system unique to bars, there may be a charge fee, appetizer fee, or service fee. The charge fee is easy to understand if you think of it as a “seat fee,” and it is charged per person as compensation for using the table or counter. The appetizer is a style where a small plate of snacks is automatically served, and the fee for that is included in the bill. In addition, bars that are open late at night or provide special services may add a few percent as a service fee. If you know this system beforehand, you are less likely to feel “This is more expensive than I expected” when you see the receipt, and you can enjoy the flow of your first visit with peace of mind. If you are concerned, it is also fine to ask when entering or when looking at the menu, “How much is the charge per person?”

Tips for pacing yourself: A guide to avoid drinking too much

Bars are comfortable places, and it is easy to keep drinking more than you intended, but especially on your first visit, it is important to be conscious of pacing yourself. As a guideline, if you keep it to about one drink per hour—or two at most—and try to have a chaser (water) in between, you can prevent yourself from becoming too intoxicated. If you continue drinking high-alcohol whiskey or short cocktails, you may get drunk more than expected, so be careful. If you start to feel, “I’m getting a little tipsy,” have the courage to switch to a soft drink or a non-alcoholic cocktail. By not pushing yourself and drinking while considering your physical condition and your plans for the next day, you can finish the flow of your first visit feeling good all the way to the end.

The flow of your first bar visit③：How to spend your time at the bar and conversation manners

The time you spend enjoying your drink is the true charm of a bar. In this chapter, we will specifically explain the key points of “how to spend your time,” such as the proper distance with the bartender and other customers, the tone of conversation, manners for taking photos, how long to stay, and how to bring up the bill.

Distance with the bartender: Should you start a conversation? Or drink quietly?

At a bar, many people also wonder how much they should talk with the bartender. Basically, there is no problem with the customer starting a conversation, but it is important to observe whether it is a busy time or not. If the bartender seems focused on making cocktails, it is fine to quietly sip your drink after ordering. On the other hand, when they seem free or when the bartender starts a topic, it is recommended to enjoy simple questions or small talk. Questions such as “What drinks are popular at this bar?” or “Are there any other bars in this area you would recommend?” are classic topics that make it easy to expand the conversation. While valuing your own pace, an attitude of not trying too hard to liven things up makes the flow of your first visit more comfortable.

Consideration for people you came with and other customers（voice volume・taking photos, etc.）

Many customers prefer a quiet space at a bar, so consideration for others is very important. Even if you come with a friend, be careful not to let your laughter or conversation volume become too loud. At a counter where the seats are close together, nearby conversations may be clearly overheard, so it is safer to speak in a lower tone about private topics. Also, when taking photos, turn off the flash and be careful not to include other customers’ faces in the frame. Once you can naturally show these kinds of consideration, not only will you be able to enjoy yourself without ruining the atmosphere of the bar, but you will also be able to spend your time there more comfortably.

Are photos and videos allowed? Things to confirm before taking them

The atmosphere of a bar and its beautiful cocktails naturally make you want to capture them in photos or videos. However, not all bars welcome photography. Before taking pictures, it is good manners to say, “Would it be okay if I took a photo?” Especially if the inside of the counter or other customers might appear in the image, be sure to get confirmation. If you plan to post it on SNS, it is also reassuring to ask whether it is okay to mention the bar’s name and how to handle tags or location information. Some establishments may say, “We’d love that because it helps promote us,” while others may say, “We’d prefer not to show too much of the interior atmosphere.” Precisely because it is your first bar experience, taking care with this extra step makes it easier for you to be accepted as a trusted customer.

Is it okay to stay a long time? A guide to staying time and smart behavior

A bar is a place to slowly enjoy time, but depending on how crowded it is, you also need to be careful not to stay too long. If it is a relatively quiet time, there is no problem staying for one to two hours while slowly enjoying two or three drinks. On the other hand, if it is close to full during peak time, it is better to avoid staying for hours over the same single drink. If too much time passes after your glass is empty and you do not place another order, it becomes hard for the staff to judge whether “Maybe they want the bill?” It is smart to decide for yourself whether to continue drinking or whether it is time to wrap up, and to let them know at an appropriate moment by placing another order or asking for the bill. Throughout the flow of your first bar visit, it is important to be aware that “feeling comfortable” does not mean “I can stay without limits.”

How to order your second and third drinks, and the sign that says “I’d like the bill soon”

By the time you finish your first drink, you should start thinking about what to do for your second one. If you order your second drink while sharing your impression of the first, such as “A little lighter than the last one” or “A little less sweet,” the bartender can bring it even closer to your taste. For the third drink and beyond, it is important to enjoy within reason while considering your plans for the next day and your level of intoxication. When you feel, “I think I should head home soon,” clearly say, “Could I have the bill, please?” when your glass is empty. If it is a busy time, the bill may take a little time, so asking slightly before you finish your drink is also one way to handle it. By switching the flow yourself, you can neatly wrap up the flow of your first visit.

The flow of your first bar visit④：Be smart from the bill to leaving

楽しい時間の締めくくりは、会計と退店のシーンです。この章では、会計の切り出し方や伝票の確認ポイント、支払い方法の確認、チップの扱い、日本のバーならではの退店マナーについて解説し、最後まで気持ちよくお店を後にするコツを紹介します。

When to ask for the bill and how to say it

The timing for asking for the bill is when your last drink is almost finished. It is perfectly polite to simply say, “I’ll be heading out soon, so could I have the bill, please?” If you came as a group, it goes more smoothly if one representative speaks up. If you do not have much time or it is close to the last train, asking for the bill a little earlier is also fine. The bar staff will generally respond smoothly according to the customer’s schedule. The simple act of asking for the bill is also the signal that closes the entire flow of your first visit, so it is smart not to leave it vague but to say it clearly yourself.

How to read the receipt and check points to avoid being surprised by the amount

When the receipt arrives, make it a habit to check the contents once before rushing to pay. Check whether the charge fee, appetizer, number of drinks, and unit prices roughly match your memory. If there is an item you do not understand, try calmly asking, “What is this ◯◯ yen charge for?” In many cases, they will politely explain that it is the charge, late-night fee, or a special drink. By understanding the pricing system in advance, you can reduce moments where you feel “This is more expensive than I expected,” even on your first visit, and you can also respond calmly in the unlikely event of an incorrect charge. Properly checking the receipt is reassuring behavior for both the bar and the customer.

Confirming payment methods（cash・card・cashless）

Recently, more bars support not only cash but also various payment methods such as credit cards and QR code payments. However, not all establishments accept cards or cashless payment, so it is reassuring to bring some cash on your first visit as well. If you ask at the time of payment, “Can I use a card?” or “Can I use ◯◯ Pay?” you can proceed smoothly. If you came with multiple people, it is smart to decide beforehand whether you will split the bill on the spot or whether one person will pay everything first and settle later, so things do not become chaotic in front of the register. If you imagine the payment method as part of the process as well, the end of the flow of your first visit will not feel rushed, and you can enjoy the afterglow.。

Is tipping necessary? How Japanese bars think about it

In Japanese bars, there is basically no tipping culture, so there is no problem as long as you pay the amount exactly as shown on the receipt. Some people may worry that tipping is necessary because of the image from overseas movies or dramas, but in most cases it is unnecessary. If you really want to express your gratitude, adding a word such as “It was very delicious” or “I’ll come again” or continuing to visit as a regular is the best kind of “tip.” If you received special service and round up the amount slightly, the bar will often accept it naturally. It is good to remember that in Japanese bars, gratitude is shown more through words and attitude than through tips.

Does the final word determine the impression? Greeting when leaving

Once you have finished paying, just saying “Thank you for the meal” or “It was delicious, thank you very much” before standing up greatly changes the bar’s impression of you. If the bartender sees you off from across the counter, lightly bowing and saying with a smile, “I’ll come again,” increases the possibility that they will remember you the next time you visit. A subtle gesture such as turning back and bowing once just before you go out the door also leaves a good impression. These small accumulations of greetings lead to the feeling of “I’d like that customer to come again.” To finish the flow of your first bar visit pleasantly, value your final words and gestures.

Common anxieties, examples of mistakes, and how to handle them Q&A

When going to a bar for the first time, many people have the same kinds of worries. In this chapter, we will organize common concerns in the flow of a first bar visit—such as “I’m scared of going over budget,” “I can’t read the menu,” “I’m afraid to go alone,” and “I’ll stand out because everyone seems to be a regular”—and how to deal with them in a Q&A format.

What to do in advance when “I’m scared I’ll go over budget”

If you are afraid of going over budget, you will not be able to fully enjoy your bar experience. First, it is reassuring to decide on an upper limit within yourself before going, such as “Today I’ll spend up to ◯◯ yen.” It is also effective to check gourmet sites or SNS for “budget guide” and “charge available / not available,” and choose an establishment where the price range is clearly shown as much as possible. Even just confirming with a simple question such as “How much is the charge?” or “About how much are the cocktails around this area?” when you enter or receive the menu can greatly reduce the mental burden. If you keep your budget in mind and order one drink at a time, you will be able to enjoy the flow calmly.

How to ask when “The menu is too difficult and I can’t read it”

Cocktail names and types of foreign liquor often use many foreign words, and on your first visit, you may not even know how to pronounce them. In that case, there is no need to force yourself to read them; it is enough to ask things like, “What kind of taste does this drink have?” or “Would you say it’s closer to sweet or dry?” It is also a good method to simply convey the image of the taste, such as “sweet,” “refreshing,” “fruity,” or “bitter,” and ask, “Do you have any recommendations?” If you point at the menu while asking, they may naturally teach you the pronunciation as well. People who can honestly ask what they do not know are, in the end, more likely to encounter a drink that perfectly suits them, and the flow of the first visit will also become smoother.

Steps for people who are “nervous about going alone”

Going to a bar alone may feel like a high hurdle, but in fact, bars are places where many solo customers go. First, it is reassuring to choose a bar where reviews say things like “solo customers welcome” or “easy to enter alone.” If you go at an early time right after opening, it will not be crowded and the bartender will also be able to respond more calmly. If you add a quick word when entering, such as “It’s my first time at a bar and I’m a little nervous,” many bars will be considerate. At first, it is good to start with a “trial solo bar visit,” where you only drink one or two drinks and leave quickly, and once you get used to it, gradually extend your stay. By taking these small steps, going to a bar alone can naturally become an option even for a first visit.

A mindset for when “I feel like I’ll stand out because everyone seems to be a regular”

Bars often have regular customers, so you may worry that “only I will stand out because it’s my first time here.” However, many bars have an atmosphere that welcomes new customers. Even if you encounter regulars having an enjoyable conversation, there is no need to force yourself into it; simply enjoy your drink at your own pace. Only if the bartender introduces you is it enough to give a light greeting. If you tell the bartender, “It’s my first time here today,” they may casually introduce you to the regulars as well. If you do not feel that regular culture is too much of an “away game,” but rather view it as “the color of that establishment,” you will be able to enjoy the flow of your first bar visit without feeling too much pressure.

What is good to do when you think “I want to come again”

Precisely when your first bar experience was enjoyable, it is good to shape the feeling of “I want to come again.” If you make a note of the name of the cocktail you liked or the drink the bartender recommended, ordering next time will be smoother. If you say one word on your way out, such as “It was really delicious, so I’ll come again,” the chance of being remembered on your next visit increases. If the bar has business cards or shop cards available, taking one home is also convenient because it makes it easier not to forget the location or business hours. These small accumulations lead from your first visit to the “first step toward becoming a regular,” and the flow of your first bar visit gradually becomes part of your lifestyle.

If you’re looking for your ideal bar, try BarFind

If you are unsure about choosing your first bar, it is recommended to use the bar-specialized search site 「Bar-Find（Bar-Find）」, which supports you from the stage of deciding “which establishment to go to.” It specializes in bar information in the Shinjuku area and is developed as a service that makes it easy to find a place close to your ideal among establishments of various genres and atmospheres.

The features of Bar-Find are that you can narrow your search by business hours（open–24:00, after 24:00, etc.）and genre（authentic bar, karaoke bar, solo-drinking bar, etc.）, so you can search for places according to your mood and situation, such as “a bar where I can drink quietly alone today” or “a lively bar suitable for a second stop.” It is a major advantage that you can reduce the common anxiety of “just entering based only on the atmosphere” when choosing a bar for the first time while checking in advance for a place that suits you.

Also, when you look at each store page, the information you want to know before your first visit—such as address, business hours, estimated price including charges, number of seats（how many counter seats / how many table seats）, whether smoking is allowed, and types of drinks offered（cocktails, wine, whiskey, whether all-you-can-drink is available, etc.）—is organized. Since it is also easy to imagine the atmosphere inside the store from the photos and introductions, you can choose a place while imagining “what kind of space you want to enjoy your first drink in.”
If you do not want to fail when choosing your first bar, or if you want to find a “candidate for your go-to place” that matches your style, try using Bar-Find to find your ideal spot.

Summary：Precisely the first visit is when knowing the “flow” helps you enjoy bar time

So far, we have looked through the flow of a first bar visit from preparation before entering all the way to the bill and leaving. Finally, let’s review the points you want to remember when going to a bar for the first time and connect them to your next step.

Reviewing the flow of your first bar visit（entering→ordering→conversation→bill→leaving）

First, by roughly deciding your budget, clothing, number of people, and time of day before going to a bar, your anxiety at the moment of entering will be greatly reduced. Once you open the door, give a simple greeting and state the number of people, then follow the bartender’s guidance and take your seat. For your first drink, start with an easy-to-drink standard cocktail or beer, and if you do not understand the menu, it is perfectly fine to ask honestly. While spending time at the bar, enjoy conversation with the bartender and the person you came with while being considerate about your volume and photography. When it is time to leave, say “Could I have the bill, please?” yourself, check the receipt, and finish payment and greetings, and the flow of your first visit will come to a clean conclusion.

The mindset that “It’s okay to ask the bartender if there’s something you don’t understand”

A bar is not “a place you cannot enjoy unless you have knowledge,” but “a place where you can enjoy together while asking about what you do not understand.” Feel free to ask the bartender about cocktail names, the differences between drinks, the pricing system, or anything else you are curious about. From a professional perspective, they may even tell you about a recommended drink, how to enjoy it, or the next bar you should try visiting. Saying, “It’s my first time, so I’m not really sure…” is by no means a negative factor; rather, it becomes a trigger for conversation. By not being afraid to ask questions and having the mindset that “It’s okay to ask if there’s something I don’t understand,” the flow of your first bar visit becomes much softer and more enjoyable.

To enjoy it even more next time, let’s find a drink you like

Once your first bar experience is over, it is a good idea to look back on the drinks you had that day and gradually organize what kinds of drinks you like. Once you begin to see your own preferences—such as “I like sweet and easy-to-drink cocktails,” “refreshing citrus flavors suit me,” or “I feel more comfortable with slightly lower alcohol content”—you will be able to order more smoothly at the next bar. If you make a note of the establishment you liked or the name of the cocktail, it will also be possible to order by saying, “Something like the one I had that time.” The flow of your first bar visit is only the starting point. Little by little, build your experience and discover your own way of enjoying bars and your “favorite drink.”